we can smell our own!

Okay, first thing’s first; apologies for the deplorable description of my recent ailment as noted in my first paragraph on my last thrilling instalment. I was still in shock and felt the need to share with the world. As I haven’t really had any spots since I was about 17; and having never had one ‘down there’ before I was still in awe. Should you need a comparison think Ross in an early Friends episode “ohh I’ve angered it” –scary, painful yet humorous to others.

I’m not really sure where to begin after this weekend’s adventures as it all appears to be a distant memory after the turmoil suffered by me and fellow commuters this morning. Yes, once again the numbskulls at Mersey rail have fuelled the wrath within, causing my lateness for work by an hour. I’ll really try to keep it brief but I feel duty bound to convey my utter contempt for the suckers who have persistently ignored my suggestions by providing the trains with three more additional carriages (as I have done several times in the past 12 months). Anyway, when the train arrived this morning; only ten out of the one hundred or so commuters could get on to the train as once again (see above photo for proof), Mersey Rail only provided three carriages. This meant having to wait for the next train; which of course was late; which of course then cancelled in Central Station; which of course meant waiting an eon; which of course meant they advise to embark upon the Kirkby train but get off at Sandhills as they were running a rail replacement service. Thankfully Jim O’Rourke’s ‘Half Way to a Three Way’ ep on my CD player kept me reasonably calm.

I then arrive at work to find that Dave is off sick. I really needed his help in order to complete this IT task that I’ve been doing for the last 4 weeks, and needs to be sorted by tomorrow. The annoying thing is that when he calls in sick, he never does; it’s always his wife. For some reason this always installs in me an element of doubt that his illness is valid- and I should know, we can smell our own!

So the weekend then: Friday- Preston to indulge in some rock n’ roll type shenanigans. Great little venue, run by some fine fellows and many a fine punter; with the addition of two cool support acts; Nice Peter (amusing American comedy singer http://www.nicepeter.com/ ) and Down Dime (Dinsoaur Jr/Bob Mould/Weddoes inspired indie rock from Leeds, http://www.downdime.co.uk/ ). It was a great night, and not too many times can we get heckled by a drunk (he’d repeatedly shouted F*%k off throughout the night) and in response Tom told him to shut up and proceeded to call him a c---. Highly amusing.

Saturday: tres exciting! Afternoon White Russians in the flat whilst playing Lisa my collection of theme tunes I recently downloaded all sixty five. It became apparent that perhaps not everyone watched as much TV as me when they were growing up. Then bonfire festivities in Sefton Park. A good as ever; lots of “oooh and ahhhhs” all around. Touching moment when the 10,00 crowd sang the words to ‘Yellow Submarine’ whilst it feebly blared out of the PA systems. Lisa and I then stayed on Lark Lane and ended up in the Light of Bengal on Aigburth Road. This the finest Indian restaurant in Merseyside and it was the first time we’d been there since we’d moved into our penthouse. I had the hottest curry I’ve ever had-buttered chicken with chanu rice. Now I enjoy the spicier meals on the menu, however this melted some of my fillings-great!

Sunday was all about cooking a chicken and enjoying a bevvie in Penny Lane Wine Bar whilst we inadvertently funding terrorist activities by purchasing some pirate DVDs from these Chinese gentleman-Wallace and Gromit and Saw 2.

I then watched with annoyance (for a change) the top-selling artists this century in the UK on C4 last night. How depressing. It reminded me of two important facts that I had overlooked recently; i) I hate U2 and ii) how annoying Edith Bowman is, such retorts as : “Jack White is the reincarnation of Jimi Hendrix” did her no favours…c’mon woman! Even Jo –this is the most important record made in the last ten years-Whiley wouldn’t stoop so low.

Anyway, I’m no doubt going to have to stay at work late tonight to make up for the hour I missed this morning- again, thank you Mersey Rail.