Thursday, October 27, 2005

Only Smarties have the answers and angry shambles

Huzzzargh and Praise Be!! The flat has finally been fitted with a brand spanking new cooker, which now means that Lisa and I can have use of an oven. Wooooo!

Yes, since our arrival in February, we have only had use of a lousy grill and three gas hobs. The oven has been a constant scourge to our domestic bliss. Firstly, it only ever worked on FULL. Secondly, it didn’t even work fully on full, rather it sporadically used to lose its flame and cooking something as simple as a frozen Pizza would turn into an angry shambles. We have got by thanks to our -well mostly my-creative imagination, but only having the use of the hobs does have its limitations; namely I’m sick of Paella, pasta, rice, stir fry’s, pork chops, curry, jambalaya. We have exhausted the sauce and generic carbohydrate meal somewhat- I want things flesh!
Granted Lisa’s chicken and wine stuffed Aubergines were a gastronomic delight, but every once in a while, one just fancies oven chips and a frozen pie.

Anyway, I was forced to take leave this morning to wait our amusing frustratingly eccentric landlords. There’s not enough time in the day (or specifically this day) to go into the rudimentaries of the quirks of Mr. & Mrs. Flynn. Suffice to say they’re a bit odd. The Flynn’s arrived on time but the cooker arrived nearly an hour and a half later than promised, I endured a lengthy and complicated conversation with Mr. Flynn regarding the whacking great big hole we have on the floor by our front door. I also got to investigate our cellar too for the first time-it was like a scene from ‘Seven’ minus the mutilated corpses.

So all systems are on go on the domestic bliss and a fuller menu is now available!

Alas though, work is like a repetitive kick to my gonads. I think I’ve devoted enough space on this humble Blog to my dissatisfaction of working in this office. It appears though, that things have taken a turn for the worse. I have now stooped to new levels of pedanticness as the sight when I arrived at work of our messy kitchen turned my usual mild mannered persona into a clumsy Larry David esque loser. Please see below the message I sent to my department including our director, Managers, friends etc…

Dear all,

Gentle Reminder to all

Sorry to sound churlish and pedantic (moi?) however, as the kitchen is part of our office, it up to everyone to maintain it is kept tidy- therefore there shouldn't be any reason why dirty cups/plates are just left in the sink and on the worktops or on your desk overnight.

Moreover, can everyone please ensure that if the dishwasher is full of clean cups etc, that the cuttlery is put away in the appropriate cupboard. It isn't a big job and can be done in the time it takes for the kettle to boil.

At present the staff member who seems to do this every morning (who shall remain anonymus) is getting rather peeved! Especially when other staff members are taking clean cups out the dishwasher for making drinks yet leaving the rest for someone else to put away. (The same can be applied to the staff member who removes your dirty cups from your desk every evening.)

The Conference Room is also part of the office, and again; will you please ensure your cup(s) and the cup(s) of any visitors are removed once you have finished your meeting.

Once again; humblest apologies if this sounds churlish and I do fully appreciate the irony of the team's suffiest member reminding you of this, however, in the interest of the team's harmacy and well being, your co-operation would be greatly appreciated in this matter.

Many thanks.

Matt

PS - Witty and sarcastic replies will not be appreciated (again I appreciate the irony in this statement)


Of course I have calmed down, and since returned to my duty of binding 100, 60 page documents, I feel tomorrow I’ll just keep my head down- alternatively I could just stick my head in my new oven.

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