Sunday, June 10, 2007

NO yoke

Since returning to Blighty, I've been putting off writing a brief description of our little excursion. I did make an earnest start on the following day, but due to the jet lag my enthusiasm waned somewhat and it can be added the ever increasing half completed blog entrees I've written over the past few months. Suffice to say that it was a most splendid holiday, and the Big Apple is indeed a fantastic city to visit. There was plenty of amusing moments, notably my row with the snotty American air stewardess on the way home where I uncharacteristically lost my rag in a very public way.

Since returning home and appreciating all things English/British/Uk'ish/European again I've had little time to spend with my feet up relaxing due to my semi-annual leaflet delivery duties and nipping home to see the family.

After returning to work on Monday, it already feels as if I'd never been away except for the gargantuan amount of e-mails in my inbox and having to repeat the same answers about our holiday- which wasn't a problem until he 20th time a well wishing colleague asked "how was it? What did you get up to?"

Some shocking events however, have lifted my re-crushed spirits, namely the fact that I'd received an e-mail from our HR Dept, informing me that due to some admin error, I wasn't getting paid enough for the whole of last year, and a backdated payment of over £400 will be in my next wage slip, not to mention last April's pay rise which they also neglected to give me. I've tried hard to be pissed off about it, but I can't as a nice big lump couldn't come at a better time....huzzzar.

Then today, the good luck continued when I was struck by an egg thrown by some twunt from a speeding car.

The good luck part was that it pounded into my doughy gut and then proceeded to bounce to the hot pavement before breaking. I looked around to see a boy-racer style black Vauxhall Nova speeding off into the sunset. An egg drive by no less and I had remained unharmed. Joy o' joy! I checked my shirt and trousers to see what damage had been caused from this unnecessary projectile and I genuinely punched the air with glee when I realised that in fact I had escaped unscathed.
I felt exhilarated and I've had a spring in my step since my lucky break.

Of course should the egg have exploded on impact, I would have had to have gone home to change especially if you consider the unnecessary hot weather we're having. Seriously, what are the odds?

This isn't the first time I've been struck by an egg I'm hastened to add, on Aigburth Road about four years ago, I felt as if someone had thrown a golf ball at the back of my head. When I turned around to see what had just struck me so venomously, I spotted a broken egg lying on the concrete. I checked my head for any yoke or shell, but there was nothing, zip, zero, nada, nowt. That time I was slightly freaked out as I was on safe and familiar ground and was extremely paranoid that I had egg in my hair, not to mention slightly shocked (kudos me or not writing 'shell shocked') with the event. I'd gotten away with it then too.

Perhaps I'm blessed, and if I was to be a Superhero this would be my superpower. If it is, then it does no good to mankind or me as far as I can see?

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