Tuesday, February 07, 2006

What took Heidi Von Pankhurst's mob so long?

Work Association' (a fictional association to make the previous sentance work). I have formly established myself a set route to the office and today and yesterday I gave Lisa a lift as far as the Liver Buildings whereupon she can walk to one of the near by stations and catch her train to the Wirral.
Ho Ho!
Much to my own suprise I'm feeling somewhat professional this morning. I've knuckled down to clearling the huge pile of paper work that has been towering above me on my desk. What joys a desk tidy up can bring. Not only does it make one's time at work go faster, it also makes you look as though you are hard at work. It has brought to the surface many lost trincets of joy hidden in the dark depths of my desk's nether regions. So far I've found a Jeeves A& Wooster book that I bought from the Lark Lane Sunday market yonks ago, three empty packets of paracetamol, literally hundreds of peices of paper chock full of my silly drawings and about 12 important documents that required posting/typing/faxing as a matter of urgency back in August and September. I have naturally therefore spent the last twnty minutes shredding them before Sean returns back from his meeting.
I've also prooved myself to be of worth by repairing Fat Karen's desk, re-attaching her drawer together with the cunning use of a match. The whole Office genuinely marvelled at my desk repairership.
My plan of action today is to get busy on my desk for the duration of the morning and then attempt to go through my desk's drawers this afternoon. Of course this hard graft will be broken up intermittantly to go on the internet, have my morning constituational and make the odd cup of tea. I must also, after responding to an email in my usual witty way, try and decifer waht "lmao" means. Oh how very exciting it all is!

Perhaps my new found enthusiasm for my vocation as a dog'sbody can be credited to my wisdom soaked callender that I found recently. Today's advice is a pearl!
"Don't try to be different. Just be good. To be good is different enough"
It doesn't attribute this quote to anyone unfortunately.

It does sound a little Orwellian/Nazi-esque doesn't it? Perhaps this is Sefton Council's tool to crush the already diminished sprits of us workers. Perhaps Dave, wearing his ghastly purple shirt and lavender tie should take note.
Not that you need reminding, according to this calender; today the anniversary of women gaining the right to vote in Switzerland today- huzzzar! Yes, doesn't the time fly when you're milking goats, playing with penknives, yoadaling and enjoying your democratic right as a citzen to convey you political preferances in an election. Unbelievably, according to my calender, this decision was only made in 1971! What took Heidi Von Pankhurst's mob so long? Perhaps Orson Wells' famous Third Man Speach should have gone a made a note of this:
"In Italy, for thirty years under the Borgias, they had warfare, terror, murder, bloodshed — they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci and the Renaissance. In Switzerland, they had brotherly love, five hundred years of democracy and peace, and what did that produce? The cuckoo clock....oh and dicriminated subserviant women!"
So I've been thinking about Switzerland for a while.

Okay its neutral- but Hitler wasn't exactly a reasonable chap was he. Why didn't he just invade it anyway? What would teh Swiz have done excpet stroke theri beards and exclaim "you not allowed to invade us we're neutral" What was to stop the German guards from shooting Steve McQueen even if he did make it over the barbed wire in The Great Escape. Surely they wouldn't be allowed to shoot on Swiz land -but nothing would stop them from standing on good old German soil and shooting him in the back should he have made the jump? What does being neutral entail? Although who would know if they were to shoot McQueen on Swiz soil anyway? Were the Nazis and the Swiz in cahoots?
Whats so damned special about a Swiz Bank Account- is it the interest rates or do you get a Penknife when you open an account?
Why do they feel the need to speak either French or German?
What's deal with the big water jet in Geneva lake?
Why call the Geneva convention the Geneva convention- what do they know about war?

Anyhooo, think on Matt.
This desk won't clean itself.

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