Friday, February 10, 2006

I knew I shouldn't have been such a Myspace whore

Well I knew it wouldn't be long before I had my fingers' stung on Myspace.

Put it thins way, for some reason an American High School girl invited me as a friend, which of course I duly obliged. Unfortunately when i checked out her site 20 minutes later, her details had changed, and her profile stated that she "wanted to be raped by a black man". Oh dear.
Not particularly something I can assist with really.

It gave me the fear bigstyle. I wondered why a total stranger would invite me for no reason?

I knew I shouldn't have been such a Myspace whore.

I panicked and deleted her as a friend post haste!

I'm now feeling guilty, anyone who wishes to be abused sexually must have a few problems, perhaps my rejection has made her feel worse?

Just like in real life , since ’hooking up' with Lisa, on those very very rare occasions that I have been chatted up, or someone of the opposite sex has flirted with me I do act very strangely. Usually it is fear. One such time occurred in the Magnet bar, when some buxom young beauty came over sand started to talk to me asking to try on my glasses.

My response was of course to panic and tell her that I had a girlfriend who was momentarily in the toilet.

This girl just sat down anyway and tried them on. I was helpless.

Lisa returned to see me looking totally petrified with some other would-be-suitor wearing my glasses. Thankfully, Lisa accepted my explanation, however bizarre it sounded. Of course by the next morning my recollection of the events had been somewhat exaggerated (moi?). Infact as I write this I remember another occasion in Harrogate's former only quasi decent night club 'Jimmys' a rather good looking girl who was about the age of 18-19 tapped me on the shoulder and said:

"Hi, I really like your glasses"

My response, being the cool player that I am, was:

"Are you making fun of my disability?"

Her face dropped and she replied "I was just complimenting you" and walked away to talk to the group of friends she was with.
I could tell that she was talking to them about what I'd said, and she had a look of snarley annoyance across her face, I'm pretty sure I her mouth the words "twat" but I could be wrong.

Ho hum.

Of course my friends thought I was a shmuck of the highest order.

I do wish to point out that in my single days, I was marginally better, and although I might have been fearful, usually I was pretty wasted so I was of course able to use my sparkling wit and charm. Unfortunately, another incident at Jimmy's resulted in me being slapped across the face by some lady who had taken my fancy. She obviously wasn't that interested, but as Luke was getting it on with her mate I felt duty bound to have a crack. The conversation wasn't good though, and she insisted that she had a 5 year old child. I didn't believe her and thought she was fobbing me off with a ridiculous lie (I was used to this) and spent the duration of our convesation calling he a”liar” (always a successful method of charming the ladies). I'm not sure what happened then, but after about an hour I was going nowhere fast, when Luke leaned over to her and whispered in her ear. He laughed. She frowned. I got a slap in chops. I later demanded to know what he'd said but he was totally rendered (you wouldn’t be in Jimmy's if you weren't) and conveniently couldn't remember. I wish I were a glasses wearer back then.

I've had a fair few (and please excuse the derogatory term in which I am about use to describe the fairer sex) mingers express and interest in me, however, I’ve always been pretty good in turning them down without a wiff of fear. Infact I've often quite enjoyed being a bit rude and curt. It's just the pretty ones that I fear.
Thankfully these events are so few and far between I can only recollect the above incidents, and I ain't getting any prettier. Of course I have always been extremely poor at working out if a girl is interested. (once again the Sally Williams Senario..d'oh!). It's all irrelevant anyway as I'm more than happy with my current status.

Anyhow, he forthcoming weekend looks to be a busy one for sure. I've got about a thousand and one things to fit into two short days.
A late night radio session at BBC GMR Radio, the start of a new set of recordings, the construction of a million shelves, drawers etc, and of course a visit to see me mum on Sunday.
The weekend after though looks to be a hellova lot more promising, as both Lisa and I have been most kindly invited to a relaxing weekend away to Scotchland with both Stock and Jeve. Considering the Xmo holidays was about as stressful and un-relaxing as you could care to imagine, and as you may know; pacing up and down a hospital corridor crappin' it isn't exactly a time one savors, I'm already looking forward to it.

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