Thursday, July 06, 2006

perhaps his threats were only idle

I feel like bear with a swore head and swore arse today. A severe lack of sleep caused by our less than considerate neighbours and their insistence of having a extremely loud and aggressive argument out on the street between 2.30am and 3.30 am this morning. I’m not talking a petty domestic argument, I’m talking about a full on scouse shout-threat fest.

Because of the ridiculously hot weather we had the bedroom window open in a vain attempt of getting some cool air in our stiflingly hot flat, I awoke in the early hours with the vitriolic and caustic threats echoing reverberating down our otherwise relatively quiet and peaceful street.

When it became clear that the row wasn’t going to quieten down, and it was very likely that a fight would ensue, I decided to have a gander out of our window to see what the ‘effing hell was going on. Unfortunately because of the huge tree directly outside our window I was once again unable to have a good nose at the fracas. The noise appeared to once again be coming from the bespoke flat opposite ours- and involved the same chap who is often heard banging on the door at 5am on a Saturday morning demanding that the “stupid f**king bitch” let him in. Oddly from what we have gathered the other occupiers of the flats appear to be middle aged mild mannered law abiding citizens, yet in all the times we’ve heard row erupt we’ve never heard any one of their fellow tenants tell them to shut up.

Lisa had also awoken, and asked worriedly why no one had called the police- I suggested that someone probably has but as per usual with these situations they won’t appear until several days later. I decided to shut the window and try and get back to sleep. This did little to prevent the noise from disturbing us, but after another 20 minutes of threats and abuse, the sound of screeching tyres could be heard and a blissful silence then followed…temporarily. 4am we were once again re-awoken by further yelling which thankfully was only audible for ten more minutes. It would be fair to say that both Lisa and I were not too enamoured with them, and as we got into the car this morning Lisa joked that there was no blood on the pavement so perhaps his threats were only idle.

It was hot last night though. Another night sleeping without a duvet-which as my ole chum Ant would always cite that you don’t feel as if you’ve had a proper night’s sleep when you do this. Also I always feel a tad uncomfortable sleeping stark bollock naked with no cover to hide my modesty, especially when the curtains have blown open in the wind
and you awake to see a startled looking window cleaner with a look of horror and curiosity at me and my dormant apparatus with his foamy rag in his hand. Oddly this happens now on a more than regular basis, and you like to think that I could perhaps wear some clothing to stop this flesh thirsty pervert from molesting me with his eyes- or perhaps report him to the police as we’ve never hired a window cleaner and thinking about it, I was never sure why he had a camera with him. Perhaps I shall end up a denim cut off clad ‘Nevernude’ like Tobias in Arrested Development. Speaking of which, the actor who plays Dr. Tobias Funke in the show, David Cross has a really good website which I urge you dear reader to investigate.

Other than the excellent Arrested Development I wasn’t aware of him or anything he’s done, but he’s actually brought out a few CD’s of his stand up –released on Sub Pop Records. It’s not the funniest stand up routine I’ve ever heard but its still pretty darned funny all the same- a particular favourite moment of mine when referring to his friends entering the throngs of parenthood:

“you think having a child is hard work!? Trying to convince your girlfriend to have her third consecutive abortion- that’s hard work!”

Anyway- I’ve posted two summery (ish) tunes for your pleasure and feeling guilty about it I’ve included two nasty pieces of work – if that’s more your type of thing. (apologies for the obvious connections)

Arrested Development-Tennessee

Silver Jews-Tennessee.

Twat – John cooper Clarke

Grumpy old men- Jegsy Dodd & the Original Sinners

1 comment:

Jo said...

Aww. You linked to me. Even though I haven't been to a gig for months.